You never quite knew what Tommy might do on any given day. He was full of surprises all the time. Sometimes Tommy would have a voice that literally sounded like a computer with a perfect monotone sound. Other times, Tommy’s voice was so sweet as he sang songs to himself throughout the day. But then just a few days back, he astonished all of us with the best Mother’s Day present he could ever give his mother. Tommy gave a gift that every mother dreams of from her child.
It happened in the middle of the night. Tommy had been having some challenges for the last several weeks with the bathroom. He had started having accidents not making it there on time. We did not know why these accidents had begun, but they had. Maybe it was all the changes ongoing with school. He was learning so quickly. Sometimes, school was overwhelming to him. He wasn’t bed wetting before but now it was something that his mother, Edna, wanted to correct if she could. So Edna followed some simple suggestions from the teacher to help him overcome his recent problem.
The first step Edna did was to take Tommy to the doctor. It appeared that there weren’t any physical problems causing Tommy to have accidents. The teacher suggested changing his nightly routine. His mother had stopped giving him liquids just before bedtime. Edna had begun to limit the amount of water her son was drinking prior to going to sleep. Tommy could communicate to some degree his wants and needs but much of his vocabulary was still limited. The boy was still somewhat echo laic though that was quickly changing. Tommy knew that the word "mother" referred to Edna and he would even respond to kissing her when asked. However, Tommy had never called out the name "MOMMY" without being prompted in one way or another.
Tommy knew his mother wanted him to use the restroom at night. It really didn’t bother him to get wet but Tommy understood that his mother did not like it. Then one night, something different happened. Tommy apparently was having a nightmare. His bad dream probably related to wanting not to have an accident at night. He began crying loudly waking his mother out of a sound sleep. Then she heard him cry out, "Mommy, MOMMY!" She was startled as Tommy had never called for her without out someone saying, "Who is that? Or what is her name?" Edna was shocked and extremely nervous as she ran to her son’s room. Once there, she was able to calm him down pretty quickly and took him to the restroom. He made it without an accident. Then, Edna, with tears coming down her eyes, snuggled beside her little boy. This was a very special week. It was the week that Mother’s Day was being celebrated and her son had called her mommy without any prompting.
The next day, when the teacher came into the cafeteria she saw Edna crying. The teacher had assumed something bad had happened. Instead Edna said, "Nothing bad happened. It’s just that I never heard Tommy call my name. He called out last night, Mommy, mommy while having a nightmare." Edna was extremely happy for she finally heard what every parent wants to hear, her child calling out her name. Tommy needed his mother and he was able to let her know when he wanted her help.
Several years ago, it was not unusual for professionals to state that a child with autism could never remember a person or acknowledge them later in life. Some medical professionals would even comment that the child rearing of the parents, particularly the mother, was the primary cause of children having autism. As late as the decade of 2000, some doctors and family members still said that it was the parents who had caused their child’s autism. It wasn’t even unusual to be told that children with ASD (autism spectrum disorders) could not have feelings towards other people including family members. Those myths could not be further from the truth.
A child with ASD might have difficulty expressing his or her feelings or what they want. They may even miss social cues. That is very different from not having emotions or not having the ability to ever communicate. Fortunately, children and adults with ASD have many tools today available to them for better communication. Plus, there are plenty of social stories, including role playing, to help teach how to communicate thoughts and feeling to avoid misunderstandings. Yet, the voice of a child saying a parent’s name or I love you for the first time remains priceless for the family members who are there at the moment it is given.
Pamela Gross Downing, a special education teacher, can be contacted at downpamg@aol.com.
http://www.brownsvilleherald.com/articles/tommy-127104-day-full.html
It happened in the middle of the night. Tommy had been having some challenges for the last several weeks with the bathroom. He had started having accidents not making it there on time. We did not know why these accidents had begun, but they had. Maybe it was all the changes ongoing with school. He was learning so quickly. Sometimes, school was overwhelming to him. He wasn’t bed wetting before but now it was something that his mother, Edna, wanted to correct if she could. So Edna followed some simple suggestions from the teacher to help him overcome his recent problem.
The first step Edna did was to take Tommy to the doctor. It appeared that there weren’t any physical problems causing Tommy to have accidents. The teacher suggested changing his nightly routine. His mother had stopped giving him liquids just before bedtime. Edna had begun to limit the amount of water her son was drinking prior to going to sleep. Tommy could communicate to some degree his wants and needs but much of his vocabulary was still limited. The boy was still somewhat echo laic though that was quickly changing. Tommy knew that the word "mother" referred to Edna and he would even respond to kissing her when asked. However, Tommy had never called out the name "MOMMY" without being prompted in one way or another.
Tommy knew his mother wanted him to use the restroom at night. It really didn’t bother him to get wet but Tommy understood that his mother did not like it. Then one night, something different happened. Tommy apparently was having a nightmare. His bad dream probably related to wanting not to have an accident at night. He began crying loudly waking his mother out of a sound sleep. Then she heard him cry out, "Mommy, MOMMY!" She was startled as Tommy had never called for her without out someone saying, "Who is that? Or what is her name?" Edna was shocked and extremely nervous as she ran to her son’s room. Once there, she was able to calm him down pretty quickly and took him to the restroom. He made it without an accident. Then, Edna, with tears coming down her eyes, snuggled beside her little boy. This was a very special week. It was the week that Mother’s Day was being celebrated and her son had called her mommy without any prompting.
The next day, when the teacher came into the cafeteria she saw Edna crying. The teacher had assumed something bad had happened. Instead Edna said, "Nothing bad happened. It’s just that I never heard Tommy call my name. He called out last night, Mommy, mommy while having a nightmare." Edna was extremely happy for she finally heard what every parent wants to hear, her child calling out her name. Tommy needed his mother and he was able to let her know when he wanted her help.
Several years ago, it was not unusual for professionals to state that a child with autism could never remember a person or acknowledge them later in life. Some medical professionals would even comment that the child rearing of the parents, particularly the mother, was the primary cause of children having autism. As late as the decade of 2000, some doctors and family members still said that it was the parents who had caused their child’s autism. It wasn’t even unusual to be told that children with ASD (autism spectrum disorders) could not have feelings towards other people including family members. Those myths could not be further from the truth.
A child with ASD might have difficulty expressing his or her feelings or what they want. They may even miss social cues. That is very different from not having emotions or not having the ability to ever communicate. Fortunately, children and adults with ASD have many tools today available to them for better communication. Plus, there are plenty of social stories, including role playing, to help teach how to communicate thoughts and feeling to avoid misunderstandings. Yet, the voice of a child saying a parent’s name or I love you for the first time remains priceless for the family members who are there at the moment it is given.
Pamela Gross Downing, a special education teacher, can be contacted at downpamg@aol.com.
http://www.brownsvilleherald.com/articles/tommy-127104-day-full.html
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